Terms of Service

The Decider provides Decisions to welcomed users who visit the Decider's website, ObeyTheDecider.com. Specifically, the Decider welcomes only users who retain their own free will and remain responsible for their own actions, notwithstanding any Decisions provided by The Decider. Such users, presumably including yourself, are hereinafter collectively referred to as "The Undecided."

Unwelcome users include those who have failed to engage their frontal cortices and/or those who do not possess at least as much common sense as little green apples. Unwelcome users are not authorized to obtain Decisions from The Decider, and they should leave now.

The Undecided may request Decisions from The Decider. The Decider may, at its sole discretion, provide a Decision to The Undecided. Although The Undecided are directed to "Obey" The Decider, The Undecided must ultimately utilize their free will and capacity for rational thought (see above) before acting on any Direction from The Decider.

Furthermore, The Decider makes absolutely no warranties, representations, and/or promises about the suitability of any Direction. The Decider decides according to its own proprietary guidelines, which may lead to Directions that appear capricious, irrelevant, and/or unsuitable. As an example, one of The Undecided may be directed to a fishing tackle shop for breakfast. The Decider does not promise or even suggest that by acting on this Decision, one of The Undecided may meet his or her future World Championship Doubles Wii(R) Bowling partner. Such an outcome is allowed by the laws of physics, as they are currently understood, but no such results are to be expected.

Indeed, The Decider does not even warrant that you will be able to get coffee from a Decided-upon coffee shop (although you probably can from the Cafe Rozella). In similar circumstances, a disappointed or puzzled Undecided is invited to examine his or her own preconceptions about the universe and his or her relationship thereto, rather than question a provided Decision.

The point is, The Decider decides, but The Decider disclaims all responsiblity for all Decisions rendered.

Moreover, The Decider does not claim to act in your best interests or those of any other Undecided. On the contrary, The Decider expressly reserves the right to render Decisions to further its own interests.

The Decider may provide links to and/or data from other websites. Unsurprisingly, The Decider does not control or endorse any other websites, and you agree that The Decider is not responsible for the availability or contents of such other websites.

If any Dispute arises related to a Decision, The Decider, and/or ObeyTheDecider.com, you agree that the Dispute will be governed by the laws of the State of Washington without regard to its conflict of law provisions. You agree to personal jurisdiction by and venue in the state and federal courts in King County, Washington.